I had a dream last night that my doctor gave me Clomid so I could get pregnant. Woke up this morning to discover that this month is another bust. It's really starting to get to me. That was our fifth cycle of actively trying. This month marks the halfway point of 1 year of ttc. On the other hand, I tell myself that this is God's plan. He's making a perfect baby for me and He's making me into a better mother through this wait.

In (probably) related news, I gained a pound this week. Boo. I'm glad it was only a pound, but it is kind of disheartening to feel like you're doing so well through most of the week (until I had a weak moment last night & indulged in ice cream) & see the scale go up rather than down. On the bright side, I've still lost 4lbs from my highest weight (287).

Also, I discovered that one of my student loans was not consolidated with the rest. I also discovered that they did not have my correct information, so the loan company has been sending my bills to an old address under my maiden name. They just got to me at the end of April & I was 5 months overdue!!!!! That won't look great on my credit score. And it has made the last few weeks very tight with money. An unexpected $300.00 bill can do that when you have no savings I guess. Now I understand why Dave Ramsey's Baby Steps are in that particular order. Anyhow, I've got all the past due portion paid & will hopefully be able to get it caught up in June. But this has really put a kink in my getting out of debt plan. Oh well. Back to the drawing board on that!

Wow. I'm not really trying to be such a downer. These are just the things that are weighing on my mind at the moment. I know things are going to get better.

Bolivia

Josh has been in Bolivia for 10 days. He comes home tonight!!! It has been too quiet at home without him, so I'm excited to have him back. But I have enjoyed sleeping in the middle of the bed, so I'll have to see how quickly that habit can be broken. Either way, I'm so ready for him to come home. I missed him more than I thought I would.

The day after J & his dad left for Bolivia, Linda & I started walking in the mornings. We only walk about 1 mile around a lake near our houses, but it's nice to have an exercise buddy who keeps me motivated. It's also been nice to get to know her a little better & spend some one on one time with her. I've really missed having a mother figure, and I don't think I ever realized how much I like it.

This is the week of wedding showers. 2 down & one to go. Last Sunday, was Elishua's bridal shower. I didn't take a lot of pictures, but it was held in one of the hotel conference rooms on campus. Luckily, this building had just done some renovations, so the room we held it in was beautiful! I helped with the decorations. The bridesmaids chose to do a springtime theme, so it was mostly flowers & spring colors. The only bad part was that it seemed a little light on food (which would have been embarrassing if I was responsible for this shower), but luckily all of the ladies who came to the shower were either close family or still-in-college friends, so they didn't judge us. Last night my friend Kristi hosted the lingerie shower for Elishua. She killed it. The whole apartment was decorated in hot pink & zebra. It was super cute. We played fun (& humiliating) games, ate a lot of food, and got to hang out with Elishua. She got a ton of beautiful lingerie. Brett is gonna be one lucky guy. On this Sunday I'm hosting my BFF's first bridal shower of her wedding season. The theme is sunshine (I think I did a post on this earlier) & I'm actually starting to get a little nervous about it. I will have to remember to post pics after the shower.