I had a dream last night that my doctor gave me Clomid so I could get pregnant. Woke up this morning to discover that this month is another bust. It's really starting to get to me. That was our fifth cycle of actively trying. This month marks the halfway point of 1 year of ttc. On the other hand, I tell myself that this is God's plan. He's making a perfect baby for me and He's making me into a better mother through this wait.

In (probably) related news, I gained a pound this week. Boo. I'm glad it was only a pound, but it is kind of disheartening to feel like you're doing so well through most of the week (until I had a weak moment last night & indulged in ice cream) & see the scale go up rather than down. On the bright side, I've still lost 4lbs from my highest weight (287).

Also, I discovered that one of my student loans was not consolidated with the rest. I also discovered that they did not have my correct information, so the loan company has been sending my bills to an old address under my maiden name. They just got to me at the end of April & I was 5 months overdue!!!!! That won't look great on my credit score. And it has made the last few weeks very tight with money. An unexpected $300.00 bill can do that when you have no savings I guess. Now I understand why Dave Ramsey's Baby Steps are in that particular order. Anyhow, I've got all the past due portion paid & will hopefully be able to get it caught up in June. But this has really put a kink in my getting out of debt plan. Oh well. Back to the drawing board on that!

Wow. I'm not really trying to be such a downer. These are just the things that are weighing on my mind at the moment. I know things are going to get better.