A lot of people around me seem to be getting pregnant. I know that I'm probably more sensitive to it now than when we weren't TTC.
But, I just found out the BFF is accidentally pregnant on the day I started. During the cycle of hope (cycle 11), she texted me saying that she thought she might be. I ignored it because, honestly, she always thinks she might be pregnant. Well this time was different. She actually is. And she was worried because this wasn't in their plans. I almost blew my freaking lid. REALLY? And then AF arrived not even 5 minutes after I got the news.
She went to the doctor with her husband of 2 months. They found out that they are expecting for real. They are now getting excited about it.
I threw a pity party for myself. Sobbed on the phone to my stepmother. And ate ice cream.
Now, it's back to reality.
And, honestly, the worst part about it is how I reacted. How upset I was/am about it. She is my best friend. I should be ecstatic for her. But I am jealous. And angry that it was so easy for her to get pregnant while I am moving into the infertility treatment phase of my life. And it hurts that she is the person I would normally cry to when something like this happens, but I can't do that in this situation.
There is a huge part of me is really happy for her though. She deserves the best. I think it was just the shock and timing. Plus, OMG, my BFF is having a baby!!!!! :D
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