Here we go again

Baby #2 due March 2017

Project 333 Fall 2015

Project 333 Fall 2015 by annies0627 

loved Project333 so stinking much (more on that later) that I've decided to do it again for the next season. While I've been home with a sick baby (day 5 now... cabin fever is setting in) I've had plenty of time to reflect on the summer's wardrobe and consider what I want to do moving into the fall. This is a little more planned - unlike summer when I discovered this challenge on July 3 and felt rushed to put something together - and a bit more cohesive. Fall is my favorite season for clothing (not fashion - as I can't keep up with that world) in that it gives me the freedom (permission) to break out the jewel tones I love without feeling out of place in the pastel world of spring and summer. This capsule is comprised mainly of black, deep greens and blues, and a smattering of dark red and lighter whites/khakis/creams. There are already a few items in here I'm questioning. I don't count my bag as an accessory since I don't switch out enough to be fashionable. :) I'm already looking forward to a whole new wardrobe - just one more benefit I didn't anticipate.

Project 333 - Summer in Alabama

My very first Project 333 board! I've been very seriously considering a full on jump into the deep end of minimalism and this seems like a great way to get started.   Looking forward to seeing how this works out. 

Dates: July 1 through September 30.

Project 333 - Summer in Alabama by annies0627 

Working Mom

It's taken me almost two years to really feel like I am even close to being able to blog about this. I stumbled upon Julia's Making It Work series right after Ryker was born and it made me reflect on my own "working mom" life. In her series, Julia asks questions of moms from several walks of life (SAHM, working moms, part time working moms, moms with special circumstances, etc). Many of the answers have helped me in various ways. Some made me feel better because they validated my feelings and told me things would get better and some were more practical with ideas I've implemented in my own parenthood journey.

What is your background story? What was your career/schooling before you became a mom? And where are you now?

I met my husband the summer after my high school graduation in 2006 on the set of an independent short film being produced in our city. After six months of friendship we started dating, and in the summer of 2009, we were married. I was still a sophomore in college. Josh is 13 years older than me. Which isn't a big deal, but it does have some impact on our life decisions. I graduated from a small liberal arts college in 2011 with a degree in History. For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be a teacher. But, around my senior year of college, I realized that particular career might not be the right fit. So after prayer and discussion with Josh, I decided to enter the workforce instead of going to grad school for secondary education. After college, we moved to my husband's hometown (two doors away from his parents, into his grandmother's house - which we rent). I was very fortunate to find a great job as an administrative assistant at our City Hall in October of 2011. In college, I had taken a number of political science classes and developed a love for that, so this job has been perfect for me. In the 3+ years since I've been there I have taken on more responsibilities and am now the Assistant City Clerk for Administration. My husband is a photographer at a local studio and a pressman at a major southeastern newspaper. He works nights and some weekends at weddings. In 2012, after a year of trying to conceive, we got pregnant on our first round of Clomid. In September 2013, we welcomed our sweet baby boy, Ryker.

What are the best parts of your situation? What are the challenges?

There are benefits and drawbacks to every situation, of course, but two major challenges I can think of immediately are our upbringings (and resulting expectations) and Josh's work schedule. We were raised very differently and had very different ideas about how parenthood would look (obviously we didn’t discuss this enough pre-Ryker). Josh also works nights and sleeps during the day. These two things result in a lot of the household and parenting responsibilities falling to me (i.e. all my waking hours are either at work or include a toddler attached to me). And honestly, that sometimes creates a little resentment. I also struggle with a lot of guilt about not being the perfect wife/ mom/ employee/ church member/ house cleaner/ cook/ accountant/ exerciser/ etc. I often feel like I’m being torn in several different directions and can never do anything to my full ability, which is difficult for a perfectionist. Not to mention the massive guilt I feel when I carve out  an hour or two for myself!

Honestly, the best part is that I really love the luxuries our double income family affords us. We are able to pay our bills and have a little extra for stuff like being able to stock up at grocery sales or occasionally buying a cute shirt without worrying if it’ll break the bank.

My office is fairly small and close knit. We are very much like a family. My bosses genuinely believe in putting family first. On the flip side because my office is so small and my coworker is often out, when something does happen I usually have no choice but to bring Ryker to work with me or else the whole office comes to a halt/closes for the day. A small office means my workload has also grown exponentially in my short 3.5 years here - sometimes to the extent that I am uncomfortable. Our proximity to my work and Ryker’s grandparents is wonderful. My commute is 15 minutes and Ryker's Grammy lives two doors down from us. Also, my mom is a teacher, so she spends a lot of time with Ryker in the summer and on weekends. We are so incredibly fortunate that our parents are active in our son's life. I cannot stress that enough.

Is this how you expected it to be pre-kids?

Yes and no. I always knew I’d be a working mom, but I just thought I’d be better at it. I imagined having a clean house, advancing in my career, making homemade dinners every night, and being a super hot and attentive wife. Apparently I forgot about how much I love sleep. Obviously I had unrealistic expectations so the last 18 months have been about evolving to a new normal for our family. Other than not being a perfect wife/mom/employee it’s pretty much what I expected. Although being so content with one child is a bit of a surprise. I always wanted a big family -  somewhere between 4 and a yardful. Now? Not so much. I love my little family of three and think if it does expand it’ll only be once more.

Is this your ideal situation? If not, what is?

I wouldn't say this is "ideal." I often feel stretched too thin or like I'm juggling too many things. Ideally, I'd love to work part time... maybe 3-4 days a week. That's just not possible in my current position. Early on, I tried working a four day week (10 hours/day), but it just didn’t work out.  I was always exhausted at home and felt like my job performance suffered. So I requested to go back to the traditional 8:00am-4:00pm (no lunch) schedule. Now that Ryker is in full time daycare I might consider a 4/10 workweek if the opportunity comes up again. If I make a job/career change I'll explore part time options at that juncture.

Do you see yourself making a career change (whatever that means) in the next 5-10 years? Or is this current set up staying put for the long haul?

I'd like to stay where I am for the long haul. But I work in small town politics, so realistically I could lose my job just because a new mayor wants to "clean house." It's definitely a drawback for this particular job, but so far I've survived. Knowing that I could lose my job every four years for no real reason does affect how I plan financially. We have a small emergency fund and are adamant about paying off our credit card debt as soon as possible (hopefully this summer). It has also forced me to really keep my eyes open for other career opportunities. I can’t imagine I'll voluntarily leave my current job though. It's possible, but I doubt it.

Tips on how you make your situation work for you:

1. Lowering my standards. I've seen this repeated again and again on the series. And it is so true. My house is always way too dirty for my taste. The laundry will never be done. We don't eat as healthy/homemade as I would like. But it's ok. This is only a season.

2. Having goals. I’m not saying this makes day to day life easier, but knowing I’m working toward something certainly helps. Our current goal is paying off consumer debt. Then we’ll move on to building a home. These goals give me a little oomph when my alarm goes off in the mornings. Speaking of which, it helps that I’m a morning person. I can usually get up, get ready, make my coffee and have some quiet time (either for a devotion, personal time, or cleaning if I feel the urge) before Ryker gets up at 6:30.

3. A strong support network. Between grandparents, church family, and close friends I really feel like there are a lot of people out there to rely on when things get tough. I love having a close knit church family full of moms from all different walks of life. The best part is that they all seem to inspire me to be a better person, not just a better mom. (It can be a double edged sword when I’m feeling pitiful though.) We spend a lot of time with grandparents. Josh is of course wonderful at helping out when I ask him and he’s even gotten pretty good at doing the dishes without being asked! Haha! He’s a great dad and the boys usually get an afternoon together every so often so I can do some food prep or a chore or something else.

How do you handle mommy guilt?

I have my good days and bad days. Until recently I was very resentful about working. I was angry and sad that I had to leave my baby and go to work. Even knowing that being a SAHM was not the right choice for me and even knowing that I love my job I still had a lot of issues to work out. It has gotten infinitely better (I actually think hormones were a big part of that). Knowing that it gets easier helps. Knowing that I am doing what works for my family helps. Knowing my son is learning valuable life lessons (like social norms) from a daycare atmosphere that I could never teach him really helps. Of course there are still some days that nagging feeling of guilt is there - which usually result in retail therapy and subsequent buyers remorse. Just gotta remember I’m doing what’s best for my family.

Advice for new moms struggling with returning to work outside of the home? Or struggling to decide if staying at home is the right choice?

A job you love makes leaving your baby a little easier. And it does get easier. Give it time. Don't be rash early on. For me it took almost nine months after returning to work to feel good about the decision, but it happened. Slowly it happened. But also know that you ultimately have to choose what's right for you and your family. If that's working great. If that's staying at home great.

How do meals work in your family? Meal planning? How often do you grocery shop? Who is in charge of this task in your family?

Typically I do all of the meal planning and grocery shopping. I try to plan a month at a time. This is always changing, but right now I’m trying to do a big shopping trip every other weekend. It seems to work pretty well so far. We do try to stick to a budget so I try to make frugal decisions when meal planning and shopping - we shop at Aldi for most of our groceries and end up going to Walmart/Target for the name brand stuff we prefer. I try to have one meatless dinner/week, a leftover night, and a “fend for yourself” night since one of us inevitably has something to do one night a week.

How do you keep your house clean? Power cleaning after bedtime? Staying out of the house as much as possible? Cleaning while kids are awake? Purging often? Cleaning schedule?

We don’t. I mean, it’s clean enough to live in but it’s not magazine perfect. This was an area that I really struggled in as far as wanting everything to be perfect all the time and comparing myself to other women. But we live in a house with a toddler. There will pretty much always be toys and crumbs on the floor. There is usually at least one dish in the sink. But whatever. That sounds flippant and dismissive and I don’t mean it that way. Truly, I just realized how much energy I was wasting by stressing about how my house doesn’t look like pinterest. I just try to clean when it gets too dirty for me. I do have a chore chart that I follow loosely. I try to do something each day during the week and catch up on Saturdays if I absolutely have to - usually I opt to skip it though. The weekends are for playing so the last thing I want to do is clean.

18 Months

We're still alive on Self Lane... It's starting to warm up so we're finally coming out of winter hibernation.
Here's a recap of what you've been up to from 12 - 18 months.

(September 7, 2014 - Mar-6, 2015)

-Walking, running, climbing, jumping, throwing. You do it all… Except sit still.

- You weigh 26.6 lbs and are 30 ½ inches tall.

- You eat well unless it’s vegetables. I’m getting creative with my vegetable cooking. You especially love cookies, crackers, and candy. Duh. You typically eat fruit and either eggs or a waffle in the morning. Lunches are usually leftovers of what you do eat or gerber graduate ravioli. You eat what we eat for dinner most of the time. I love only having to make one meal!

- Your speech exploded right after we had a speech therapy assessment. (You love making mommy look like a liar.) Right now you have about a 25-35 word vocabulary and use two word sentences. You’re favorite things to say are “hold you” “dada night night” and “one two go.”

- You love choo choos, tractors, cars, trucks... really anything with wheels.

- Uncle Joe may be your very favorite person in the entire world.

- You love Roxy (my parents' dog) and all kitties and playing outside.

- You typically sleep from 8:00 pm until about 5:30 or 6:00 am.

- You love your daycare teachers and they love you.

- You’re just starting to sing. Right now it’s “B-I-N-G-O” but I can’t wait to see what else comes out of your mouth.

- You are pretty true to the 18m size although pants can be a little long for you.

- You’re starting to be more independent. Which is a double edged sword. I love having some extra time to get stuff done around the house and seeing you use your imagination but man I miss my little baby.

- You’ve started helping me cook. You like to watch your waffle in the toaster oven each morning and you like to help me prep dinner (especially if it involves cheese).

- You still have a temper. And you want what you want when you want it. Just like your mama.

Transitioning to Solids

Our transition to solids has been relatively easy. I won't lie, weaning off the bottle made me a little lot nervous.

R had only breast milk/formula until he was almost 5 months old. We wanted to wait a little longer before moving to solids for various personal reasons. We briefly talked about doing baby led weaning, but I was too impatient and nervous about choking.

-Right around the five month mark (February 6) we fed him plain cereal once per day in the morning. He wasn't impressed. We moved to oatmeal. He liked it better. After about two weeks, we moved on to feeding plain oatmeal twice per day - in the morning and evening. At this point he was still taking about 30-32 ounces of formula per day. Eating a bottle every 4 hours.

-Around 6 months (late February/early March) we started to introduce fruits and vegetables. One fruit or vegetable was introduced every 3-4 days. There was no real pattern of introducing fruits/vegetables although I did try to alternate. The only thing that gave him a problem was carrots. So we took a break and introduced them again after a few months. He did fine the second time around.

- In mid march at his 6 month check up we were given the ok to feed him purees 3 times per day, so he started having breakfast, lunch, and dinner of purees. The doc said we could introduce a sippy cup. So we did. It's been a journey. At first he really only did well with soft nipples on cups. My very favorite is Nuby. That's the only one that doesn't seem to leak & he likes it best too. He just recently learned how to use a straw cup, but still has a tough tome with hard spout sippy cups. By this point he was still getting 5 bottles per day, but we started cutting back on the amount. He was getting about 28-30 ounces of formula per day.

- In mid April (around 7.5 months old) he started eating puffs. It took a few weeks before he figured out how it all worked. From there we moved to crackers and his Mimsy gave him cookies. The cookies were all the motivation he really needed to figure out how to put the food in his mouth. We began experimenting with some soft table foods, but really stuck with purees for the most part.


- Around 8 months he changed his bottle habits. This was definitely a Ryker led decision. But I figured we'd follow his lead on this. After about a month of fluctuating, he settled on 3 bottles per day. One in mid morning (7 ounces). One in mid-afternoon (7 ounces). And one at bed time (6 ounces). It was during this bottle fluctuation period that he also showed a genuine interest in eating table food. So we slowly worked toward eating only table food and cutting out purees. This all took place from early May early July.

- By ten and a half months (mid July) he ate strictly table food and mastered walking. It was a whole new world for him (and me). We cut bottles down to 3 6 ounce bottles per day for a total of 18 ounces of formula. We also began transitioning to milk. It took awhile for him to open up to it.

- After his first birthday, we cut out his afternoon bottle. By mid September we cut out the morning bottle. He also decided he liked milk in his sippy cup. The bedtime bottle stayed for a little longer because he got sick a lot in September and I knew that the bedtime bottle was a comfort to him, so we kept it. Once he finally got rid of all of his colds and ear infections, I switched from bottle to sippy cup at night (to make the weaning less abrupt). He refused to drink from his cup at bedtime. Following his lead, he doesn't get anything at bedtime now. It worked out so so much easier than I thought it would be. 

Twelve Months

August 7 - September 6

- You started daycare and I went back to work 5 days a week. This month has been such a transition for the whole family!
- Your teachers instantly loved you (at least that's what they tell me). Everyday I get to hear about how sweet and good you are.
- You've learned a lot this month. You are more vocal, communicate your wants (nonverbally by reaching), bite, pick your nose, and are very focused when you play with your toys.

- You've started bringing books to your daddy and me and crawling in our laps so we can read to you. I love this so much!

- You waver back and forth between being very "clingy" and very independent. It's so interesting to watch you grow!
- You like to be very helpful around the house. You push our laundry basket from the laundry room to the bedroom and you like to carry around the dustpan. You also love attempting to brush your own hair and teeth.

- You got a tummy virus after your first week of school & you got sick the weekend of your birthday. :( But you take it like a champ.
- Football season started! Which means you will spend a lot of weekends watching football with Mimsy and Pops. I can't wait to see you watch it now that you can understand better than last year. We've been working on your "Roll Tide" moves.

- We said goodbye to Uncle Fran, Aunt Neese, Shay and Adley in August when they moved across the world.

- We spent a lot of time over at Mimsy and Pops' house.

- We bought a new-to-us family car the day before your birthday!

- You somehow went from a tiny baby to a big boy who can run and communicate and feed himself. I know this happened over the course of a year, but it seems like everything happened in fast forward.

- You are loved more than you will ever know