Privacy & TTC

I decided to make this blog private because this is more about a safe place to record my thoughts than broadcasting myself over the internet. Maybe eventually I will make this public if there is anything to share.

Mostly, I chose to make this private because I want to reflect on the things that are happening to this young wife. And some of those things J & I have decided to keep as quiet as possible. Like TTC. I'm pretty sure everyone knows/assumes/expects that we are, but that doesn't mean I want them to know all the details.

As of now, we are on cycle 4. I'm on CD 25. Usually I have a 26-27 day cycle, but I O'ed late this month, so I think my cycle will be more like 30ish days.

I have been temping since January & using OPKs (starting CD 12 until I get a temp shift) since February.

It's strange because I always thought that it would be an accident. I never expected to have to work for something like this. Maybe that's why it hasn't happened yet. Maybe God wants to teach me patience & make me work for it so that I will love my baby that much more when/if it happens.

But it's hard to remember that. I constantly have to remind myself that normal healthy couples can take up to 1 year to conceive (both of J's sibs spent 10 months trying for one baby). But no matter how much reminding I do, the scary thought of infertility is still in the back of my mind. What if something is wrong with me? What if something is wrong with J? What if we can never have any children? It's hard to quiet those thoughts (& all the jealousy that comes along with finding out friends are expecting their 4th child) after three failed attempts. This is probably my first real experience having to trust in God's timing. It's funny that I spent so many years avoiding pregnancy & once I've finally made the decision that I was ready (J was ready for a little while before me), it just won't seem to happen. I know that God is preparing me. I know that there is a plan. I know that I have to just trust in Him. And I have to remind myself daily.

Proud Big Sister

Dude, my brother is in a band.

Saturday 4/14/2012, the band played in the S.O.S. Musicfest II. And. Joe. Was. Awesome.

I'm so proud of him. He is a wonderfully talented drummer, adorable, and one of the most genuine people I know. He has such a big heart and such unwavering faith in God. He is really going to make some girl very lucky one day, provided she passes all the tests set forth by his mother (& me).

Here are some pictures. I found them on facebook. Courtesy of this album. Because, let's face it, J is the photographer & I don't even know how to work a camera.

Actually, this picture is courtesy of my phone.

The rest are from the SOS Music Fest album.

Ladies & Gentlemen, please meet my brother, the drummer.

He's really into it.

He cracks me up!

Everyday But Friday put on an excellent show. And they will spend next weekend recording some stuff in Atlanta for Capitol Records.

Bridal Showers

Two of my BFFs is getting married this summer! It's so exciting to be a part of this huge part of their lives. To clarify, they're not marrying each other... I've got two weddings to be a part of this summer. The first (Brett) in June & the second (Samantha) in August.

I've known Sam since the fourth grade (1997). We used to live across the street from each other and instantly became great friends. It's wonderful because we know each other so well that even when we have to go a long time without seeing each other

(like when we went to different high schools for four years) we can pick back up without missing a beat. And now she's met the love of her life so she gets to join the old married couples club.

But first, I'm hosting a shower for her in May. And this is what I've got so far. Because of several different factors I'm hosting it at my house. The theme will be sunshine because that is her nickname for Jeremy. I'm planning to incorporate a ton of yellow. Here are just a few ideas:

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I think it will be pretty easy to incorporate yellow into my decorations & food. I will also swap out a lot of my everyday stuff for things specific to Sam & Jeremy. Mostly I can only think of pictures. But I would also like to make a large "P" to hang above my fireplace.... We'll see. I have a lot of ideas, but limited finances & time. Still I hope to make it a great shower because that's what she deserves.

Dear Monday

A Day Late...

I would have linked up with Megan, but it's Tuesday & I never published this post yesterday... In fact I don't even feel like looking through it for typos, links, or to add anything to it. Here's yesterday's post:

Linking up with Megan again.

Dear Monday, You started off a little rocky with a weird wakeup from a nightmare that wasn't really a nightmare at all. Here's to hoping you get better.

Dear Zumba, I'm pretty sure today is the day I make my triumphant return... followed by a lot of sweating, red face, panting & sore muscles.

Dear Weekend, He is risen indeed! It was our first time to host Easter lunch at our house. I'd say it was pretty successful. Except I forgot to take actual pictures. I only have a few that I snapped on my phone of the boys playing bocci ball & my stepmother on our tire swing.

Dear Publix, You are amazing. Between hooking me up with a fully cooked spiral sliced ham at a pretty decent price (so glad I didn't have to worry about cooking that on top of everything else) and introducing me to your (on sale) fat free light blackberry yogurt, I may never go to another grocery store again. Repeat: You are awesome.

He is Risen

Why do you seek the living One among the dead? He is not here, but He has risen.

Luke 1:5&6 NIV

And Jesus Christ our Lord was shown to be the Son of God when God powerfully raised Him from the dead by means of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 1:4 NLT

Now if we died with Christ we believe that we also live with Him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, He cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over Him. The death He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life He lives, He lives to God. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.

Romans 6:8-11

Dear Monday

Linking up with Megan today.

Dear Monday, Here we go again... except this time it's April! Wow. This year is flying. Seems like last week we were hit by the tornado, but here we are over two months since then still cleaning still rebuilding still putting our lives back together.

Dear Body, please cooperate with me and make me a baby. I spent so many years avoiding pregnancy & now all I want is to become a mother...

Dear Weekend, you were awesome. I loved getting to spend so much time with J shopping, watching plays, going out to eat, and generally doing a lot of nothing. Can you happen more often?

Dear Bangs, You were a great decision.

Dear Self Control/Motivation, where have you been lately?